Publication Day

Posted on 03/02/2025

It is hard to explain what publication day feels like.

In some ways all the big things have already happened – I have managed, against the odds, to get a book deal. I have agonised about what the story is going to be. I have spent months writing a first draft, and then laboured for many more months on subsequent drafts. I have waited in terror for my editor to get back to tell me what I need to do to make the book better, (hoping fervently that she does not say I have to start all over again). I have thrown out all the bits I really liked (because my editor didn’t like them), and worked on building up the elements that I had ditched at some point whilst writing the second draft. I have scrutinised the cover designs. I have told everyone who might care (and some that don’t), when the book is likely to come out. And then… I kind of forget about it. The pain it caused me at the time fades away, a little like the pangs of childbirth. Sometimes this amnesia is so extreme that I actually cannot recall the characters’ names. There is the next story to think about and the next terrifying blank screen to face, and time moves on and publication day becomes something vague that will happen in the future.

Then, suddenly, there is only a few days to go. I am reminded of this fact by one of the friends who actually listened when I told them when the book was due to come out. Of course, if I had any level of fame, I would have been alerted by calls from The One Show and Front Row. Needless to say, these have not been forthcoming. I expect my kind husband will come home with a bottle of something bubbly (since we have decided to extend Dry January, this will not be intoxicating), and family members and friends will message me to say they have ordered the book and are looking forward to reading it. I will start the terrible, and hard to resist, (although I always give myself a good talking to) scrolling for reviews. These will come in slowly, with a few five star ones that will make me briefly rejoice, and many more less enthusiastic ratings, some of which will be wounding. We are told to take all of this in our stride, and I mostly do because I know tastes differ (although I will NEVER forgive the review that simply said ‘dnf’).

It seems a small return for what took so long, and yet, right now I am doing the same thing all over again. 250 000 books are published each year. My book is just one of many. I don’t write in the hope I will be invited on The One Show (although I have an outfit ready just in case), I don’t do it for the money (the less said about that, the better). I do it because as soon as it is out in the world, fighting its way amongst all the other thousands, there is always the possibility that someone, somewhere might enjoy the story.